If you've never played an RPG, then you might want to look elsewhere. If you've never played a game made with RPG2K, the controls are easy. The arrow keys move the character, the space bar and the enter key confirm selections, talk to people, read signs, search items, and other crap. You only need to push one of them, not both. It doesn't matter which one. Calm down. It'll be ok. Now, if you are wondering where this elusive "menu" is, you might want to try hitting the Esc key. That usually brings down a menu. You can use the arrow keys to move the cursor, enter or space bar to make a selection, and Esc to back up or exit the menu screen. If you don't understand what the Items and Equipment and Save options are, you're an idiot and shouldn't be playing these games.
Demented Pineapple 2000 came in fourth in the 2000 Falcate Contest. Demented Pineapple (the original '95 version) came in third. So if you think I don't know by now the 2000 version isn't as good as the first one, shut up! I know! But I'm not finished yet! When I'm finish, you will feel dumb for ever criticizing me and thinking I couldn't top the original '95 version! Then I will use my Monkey God powers to smite your wiggling bodies so I don't have to hear your niggling whines and cries of pain! Shut up! Shut up, don't touch me! Get away from me! I hate you, Daddy! Don't touch me like that!!! IT HURTS, DADDY!!! STOP!!! STOP!!!
...